i have had e fucking nough i feel like i'm less than a person and all i want is to go home back to where i used to exist in other people's minds i know i'm forgettable and unwanted i know i'm just a big joke but i wanted to pretend i could be cool or interesting i wanted to be liked and loved and essential i wanted to be the heart but instead i'm just a silly unnecessary afterthought i miss feeling wanted and important i don't want to laugh anymore i'm sick of making jokes i would like to share a real feeling and be understood and not mocked i want a good cry and i want to never be seen again i just want my dad and my dog and my mom and my best friend and i want to go back to high school or 8th grade or elementary school when i really knew i was a part of something
life is good actually and people Do care and they are the best!! some people can be self centered and get caught up in their own lives but that’s ok it’s not a judgement on my worth or interestingness as a person!!! the people who matter Do care and Are interested in my life! and more importantly they care about me and what i have to say about our friendship!!! i am not good at drawing boundaries but they are willing to help me do that!! i can say what makes me sad and they will try to fix their behavior to help me!!!! that’s what matters!! and what matters is that i Know i am a good friend and i Know i help my friends and i Know i am slowly and carefully becoming a better and kinder person AND the people around me can see that and value that!!!